Polyamorous Dating: Everything You Need to Know

Author: Admin
Published On: November 14, 2022
Polyamorous Dating: A Complete Guide

Monogamous relationships have been the preferable relationship over the years. Over time, polyamory is getting popularity and accepted in the United States. People find it strange and repulsive as the idea of being with more than one isn’t normal to them.

But, there is nothing strange as polyamory is the practice of having open to multiple relationships with the consent of everyone. Love is love and is not restricted to connecting deeply with others or a single partner. Many dating applications are available, like ForeverUs in Love, for polyamorous dating. So, let’s discuss in detail about polyamorous dating.

What Is Polyamorous Dating & How Does It Work?

Polyamorous is a combination of the Greek word ‘poly’ referring to ‘many’, and the Latin word amor refers to ‘Love’. A polyamorous relationship means a couple agrees cooperatively to involve with other people.

It is a type of the Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) or Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) spectrum. It comprises all choices of a sexual or romantic relationship, which include multiple partners and require all consent.

But how do polyamorous differs from cheating your partner? There are no secrets here, no sneaking behind, no lying about your trysts from your partner. You can explore emotionally and physically in polyamorous dating relationships. But it is not simply having multiple partner as it involves different moves for everyone who engages.

There are many ways people can structure their poly relationship, and it’s somewhat confusing. Here we will differentiate polyamory and polygamy to clear out all your doubts.

Polyamory V. Polygamy

Both terms begin with “poly”, but there are considerable variation between the two. Polyamory faces a lot of backlash in western culture that comes from the fact that people take it the same as polygamy. Polygamy is not broadly accepted in Western culture, and no wonder’s why people aren’t accepting polyamory.

Polygamy means having multiple wives, while polyamory has several relationships without being married to every person involved.

13 Different Types of Polyamorous Dating

The options for polyamory relationships are complex and they vary for every person. So let’s get into various types of polyamory.

1. Mono Polyamory

A unique type of polyamorous relationship. One person is monogamous and stays loyal to one partner, while the other follows a polyamorous relationship that involves other partners. It does not come forward as cheating as the mutual consent of both partners is involved.

2. Solo Polyamory

In any polyamorous relationship type, someone will have a primary partner. But in solo polyamory, they prioritize themselves over others. This person follows no-strings-attached relations. They are not involved in any serious relationship and are only concerned about meeting their desires.

3. Hierarchical Polyamory

A hierarchical relationship involves one primary couple who might have children together, share finance, and be involved in making decisions. The other relationship will be secondary. The couple has defined rules of how they are allowed to explore secondary relationships. If they are unhappy to maintain a relationship with them, the couple has veto power to stop their partner’s secondary relationship.

4. Non-hierarchical Polyamory

It is the opposite of hierarchical polyamory, where partners do not prioritize single relationships. All are equally involved in major decisions. They are only concerned about fulfilling their needs. Everyone’s relationship with each other will stay unique.

5. Triad

Triad polyamorous relationship is called a “throuple”. Few polyamorous couples choose to date other singles together. Instead of dating two independently, all of them are involved sexually or romantically. This type of intimate relationship and being the third in a polyamorous relationship require trust, communication and basic rules between partners about their CNM boundaries.

6. Quad

A quad relationship involves four people connected to each other. There may be different dynamics couples have. Triad relationships bring the other one, and now they are a quad or a couple seeing for another pair. Any combination of four people is involved here.

7. Anchor Partners

Instead of primary, some people define their relationship as an anchor or nesting partnership. All partners are equally considered, and hierarchy is not involved. Factors to define the relationship, like commitments, finance, home or children, are still acknowledged.

8. Polyfidelity

Instead of primary, some people define their relationship as an anchor or nesting partnership. All partners are equally considered, and hierarchy is not involved. Factors to define the relationship, like commitments, finance, home or children, are still acknowledged.

9. Vee

Think of the letter ‘V’ to understand easily. One person in a relationship dates two people separately who are not involved with each other. The two people might never meet or become close friends, but they will not be involved in a romantic relationship.

10. Relationship Anarchy

All people involved in relationship anarchy are free to connect with others romantically or sexually. They are not restricted to following rules, labels, or hierarchy. Relationship anarchists might have anchor partners they live with or share commitments. Here the relationship between the partners involved will evolve organically.

11. Polycule

Polycule relationships include all partners and metamours whether or not they are dating each other or living together. There are meetings & discussions held to consider the decision of everyone involved.

12. Kitchen Table Polyamory

All people will hang out with each other. Here it is not necessary for partners to be involved sexually; they are comfortable with their emotional relationship. Being a family unit and supporting whoever needs it is what it states. Everyone involved here will gather for family events and comfortable meals together.

13. Parallel Polyamory

In this type of relationship, people involved are not friendly to each other. Here metamours do not interact with each other. If a person is in a vee-style relationship and has concerns, they convey it to their partner and then decide how to navigate it to their other partners.

Do you want to create a polyamorous dating profile? 10 Tips to help you create a match-worthy profile.

10 Important Rules to Consider Prior to Polyamorous Dating

Below are the certain set of rules you need to follow if you want to make your polyamorous relationship successful.

1. Consent of the Partner Is Non-negotiable

Polyamory is an open relationship. You cannot go for something by hiding it from your partner. It is called cheating. In the polyamorous relationship rule, there is no space for cheating. The only key to gaining trust and establishing transparency is consent from every person involved.

If a person is not ready for you to engage in a polyamorous relationship, then it leads to insecurities and pain and may harm them a lot. Do not manipulate them. If consent is not possible, then separation is the best option rather than having the relationship fall flat on your face.

2. Be Clear About Your Intentions

You and your partner need to have clear thoughts about what you want from this relationship. Before experimenting, know how much you are willing to give. Are you trying to fix something? Are your other relations restricted to physical or emotional aspects only?

It is essential to have clarity because your intention will decide the route of your relationship. Do not seek polyamory within an existing relationship to find its lost spark. It is about finding more love, not finding lost love.

3. Always Use Protection

In polyamorous relationships, when you are sexually engaged with multiple partners increases the risk of Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI). Be mindful and establish sexual health standards to protect yourself and your partner. Use protection like condoms, dental dams, etc., and maintain sexual hygiene. Be comfortable asking about your partner’s STI status and talk about safe sex.

4. Be Flexible & Clear About Boundaries

One of the polyamorous dating rules is to review the emotions of each other. Understand that all the time, everyone will not feel comfortable. Having more partners can be the cause of jealousy. So to avoid this, be clear about how much information both are interested in.

Someone who is okay with it in the beginning, might not feel the same now. Be committed to accepting changing boundaries, as it will build trust. Your partner will share insecurities without thinking of disappointing you or losing your love.

5. Watch Out Your Partner’s Needs

Involving others does not mean you neglect your partner. Everyone will not always feel compersion in a polyamorous relationship. Jealousy is easy to creep in. Be attentive to your partner’s emotional needs and make quality time for them to be loved. It is important in a relationship to build more trust. Not everyone will understand everything every time.

6. Stay Away From Each Other’s Partners

In a polyamory setup, maintaining the utmost distance from your partner’s personal affairs is essential. There will be times when you are curious about knowing who your partner is with. Don’t pass any unwanted comments or judge them even if you know about them. It will affect your bond with them.

7. Don’t Be Harsh on Yourself to Look For Someone Else

In polyamorous dating, you are fine with your partner having other intimate partners. It is part of mutual consent. But it does not mean you have your share of experiments too. Do not feel like competing with your partner. Stay away from it if you don’t want yourself to be intimate with others.

8. Clear Communication Leads to a Happy Relationship

Honest & open communication leads to a beautiful polyamorous relationship. The communication gap is worse. It requires all stages, starting from your desire, consent, boundaries, communicating if you are unhappy, insecurities, changes in emotions, etc.

Be sincere during communication. There should be no hesitation while expressing your feelings. Never leave your partner behind, and insist on clear communication.

9. Do Not Assume Anything

Your partner does not believe in monogamy, and you may have consented to polyamory to make your partner happy. It doesn’t mean you are lacking by any means. Most of the time, it is nothing to do with you. It’s their choice to live life. Taking anything personally will harm you and your relationship.

10. Take Charge of Educating Yourself

Love is tough with one person, but it becomes tougher when it involves more people. Educating yourself with the right vocabulary, having expert opinions, and polyamorous dating tips make you aware of several things. Proper education on polyamory brings maturity to your thoughts. It helps you understand and express yourself better to your partner.

Conclusion

Non-monogamy is huge step. There are several dynamics involved in polyamorous relationships to make them work together. Rules and consent vary for every couple. From staying with one monogamous and another polyamorous to having a family unit polyamorous, everything will work differently. With the help of this guide, you can make the dynamics work for you, which leads to living a happy polyamorous relationship.

FAQs

Do polyamorous relationships last?

The individual should be mature enough to make the polyamorous relationship work. As this relationship involves more people, it is difficult to maintain a healthy relationship if communication lines aren’t open and everyone doesn’t make an effort. Follow polyamorous relationship rules as it helps effectively for the longevity of a relationship.

Why do poly relationships fail?

Jealousy, insecurity, lack of communication & trust, not giving quality time, and emotional instability are the factors that affect this relationship.

Is polyamorous illegal?

No, polyamory is not illegal. It comes with a few limitations. There aren’t any laws that prevent an adult from having more than one relationship at a time. But marrying to more than one person is illegal in the U.S. Some polyamorous people want marriage freedom to be extended as the group of people can share the right and benefits offered by the legal institution of marriage. It’s not illegal itself, but it does exist in a social gray area.